Sins of a Grammatical Deviant (Where We Almost Succumb to Depressive Self Criticism)

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My laziness is a strange variety. I’m not into the full on lethargic, vegetative laziness. No, I am more like a weird onwards and upwards type lazy. A frantic ADHD laziness, where I am doing a lot of work and some of it us quite fine, but I’m also pissing on my leg simultaneously. Instead of going and getting a new pair of trousers and cleaning myself off, I parade my mess all about the internets! The point I’m making is tighten your stuff up. Sloppy is sloppy. Cut that shit out. 

This is connected to number one, but it deserves it’s own point. Stupidity. Knowing the rules is only half the battle. If you don’t follow the rules you know, then you don’t really know them. There’s a weird tick in my mind where I will identify the problem but then not fix it, and just meander on to the next issue, which I may or may not fix either. Fix the problems as you come to them. This is connected to the broader sin and abnormality of pervasive ignorance we currently suffer under, which is too big a topic to address here. 

I’ve not been an attentive reader. When I think back on all the things I have read, it amazes me that I still make so many grammatical mistakes. I, stupidly perhaps, imagined that I could sort of intuit my way to success, but that appears to not be the case. Also, it is not true to say I haven’t had bit of instruction in these matters, both of the institutional variety and the personal learning sort, but still, I am a grammatical deviant. I get it, but sometimes what I am trying to say is too complicated for me to bang it out in the moment and so I just have to leave it, all ugly and bastardized. 

This last sin is big. No, the biggest of all. I’ve not been honest enough. Not my authentic self enough. I have not self challenged enough. I have not lived up to my full potential. I self censor because of a fear that I will not be found approved. I also self censor because I fear I will be approved. So by not perfecting it, I don’t have to share it. It can remain a dream and not a reality. 

Somehow I went all depressing…I apologize. On a positive note, I got my final reading response which was the one I needed! Constructive, positive, some special soul out there in merry Old England, got on board and gave me just gave me a great read. It was exactly what I needed at this point in the editing process. He edified my old sinful, lazy, authorial self and the correction was mighty fine! 

 

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The reader also went on to give me first reading response to Chapter 2, which was also wonderful and helpful. So today I spent my time making edits based on his suggestions. I love this collaborative element scribophile.com brings. I have to admit that I am not smart enough to this is job on my own. 

Anyway, I have rambled enough to this empty slice of internet here, but I wanted to hype myself for one last second. I decided that I am going to start doing some book reviews on here too. Also, I am still waiting for my first comment. Listen, I admitted, I am sinful man, I will bribe someone for a comment if it comes to that…For now, another begging animal picture. You bastards… 

 

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