The Tiny Soldier-Part 5 (Flash Fiction Chain 5)

All right folks, I am so stoked. Today is another round of Chain Fiction through the amazing Photrablogger. Here’s the exercise Photrablogger provides this photo:


Then you write a story based on this photo and whatever section of the chain that come before you. Today I am writing part 5 of the chain here, to understand go read the previous parts, you really should too because they are awesome:

1. Abirami

2. Sona


4. Dr. KO

Character List:

Rick-Protaganist, 10yrs Old

Jenna-Rick’s Social Worker (Not present this section)

Mrs. Montgomery/Ma-Foster Mom to a houseful

Jake-Montgomery’s biological boy

Sun-The Monkey

***Elaborated Characters*** (The Other Kids Sorted By Tables)

Table 1-

Mesa-Boy, 14 yrs old

Toro-Boy, 12 yrs old

Wheeze-Boy, 8ish yrs old

Table 2-

Danus-Boy, 11 yrs old

Makaya & Kumba-Boys, Twins, 7 yrs old

Table 3-

Marilyn-Girl, 11 yrs old

Britney-Girl, 8 yrs old

Kanya-Girl, 6 yrs old

Summary: Rick has jumped from foster to home to foster home. His current house is run by Mrs. Montgomery, who cares for twelve children, including her own son Jake. The boy has made a special friendship with the monkey, who is named Sun. Sun had just started to tell Rick a bit of his history, when bedtime cut their story time short . The scene begins after the previous night of revelations from Sun.

Without further ado, The Tiny Soldier Part 5:

Twelve hours without power and things were starting to get tense. Ma had left for the postoffice early. Distracted, she announced to a half awake room that Jake was in charge today. Rick knew second he heard that, it was going to be a bad day. Plus his new friend had him on edge.

Breakfast was warmed up gravy and scrambled eggs. Jake slopped it out with a special disdain, over bricky biscuits. For a dessert, he told each recipient their chore for the day, which he wanted finished by noon.

Rick had seen some hope in that he was on dishes, a task which left him alone in the kitchen, and which usually meant that he could get a half hour of reading in if he hurried.

Things were obviously weird though when he went to sit down. Usually the main pack of boys, six of them, all sat together at one table. This pack was lead by an especially energetic fourteen year old named Mesa.

Mesa was one of the originals kids Ma had taken in. He had been around so long that he held a special status second only to Jake. His special place meant, he was the only one who could really get away with challenging Ma’s boy. Usually the two enjoyed a tedious peace, both with hopes of keeping Ma happy, by maintaining order among the children.

Mesa’s best friend was a boy called ‘Toro.’ He was twelve years old and had been living on the streets for sometime before he ended up under Ma’s care. Wheeze sat with the two of them, listening to their discussion with a worried face.

The other two tables were split up between the other pack of boys and the girls. The four boys were huddled in their own intense discussion. This group was led by eleven year old Danus. He held court with two seven year old twin boys Makaya and Kumba and six year old bespectacled Moses.

The twins were polar opposites. Makaya was incredibly headstrong and motivated, first in all his classes. Kumba on the other hand was very withdrawn. Sometimes late at night Rick would hear him crying. Makaya’s harsh whisper would fill the room urging him to get over it. Rick had heard enough tidbits of that horrible night which haunted the twins, that he felt a deep pity for both of them, despite Makaya’s regular heckling.

Moses was perhaps strangest of them all. A bird like little boy, he was very quiet. He refused to play rough with the other boys and instead would hide in the room doing his small booklet of math exercises over and over. He claimed to have a rich Mother and Father, who any day now would be around to pick him up and take him on their world travels.

Rick had thought at first they could be friends, but then the boy’s unbreakable stare and lack of communication skills dusted all those hopes. Moses sat now staring into space. Rick decided to sit down opposite him. Danus and the twins paused the conversation to acknowledge his presence, but then went right back to their intense conversation.

“Listen,” Danus said, “he’s out of here, okay? Him and Toro are going tonight. Toro has him sold on the cable and smokes.”

“No way,” Makaya said. “First they have no money. Second, Ma and the police will track them down.”

“Ah Mesa’s a horse,” Danus said. “He’ll get work and a room easy. Get real. Ma told him just last week, he was ready to go so whatever. He’ll go and then you know what, then he’s all ours.” He made a gesture towards Jake who was putting the remaining food on to his own plate.

The table of girls were watching Jake too. There were three of them, Marilyn, Britney, and Kanya, and they were 11, 8, and 6. They were referred to as Mrs. Montgomery’s girls in the community and they were something of a cherished novelty. Their goodness seemed to rebound off the rowdiness and roughness of Ma’s males. Where the boys had to make do, the girls were treated like the angels, Ma knew them to be. Where Ma could endure her boys suffering any indignity, minus Jake of course, the girls she demanded be treated with the proper respect. The girls took the whole unfolding scene in with wide eyes.

Jake was standing in the middle of the dining room. All three tables were now staring directly at him. Rick just hoped to god that Jake didn’t start talking. He tried to will him to sit down with his mind. Jake took a big mouthful of his greasy biscuit and began to address them. “Now I know everyone is bummed the power is out. Trust me no one hates that more than me. But Ma is doing everything she can to take care of us, so we have to hold tight.” He took another huge mouthful of food. “Now I know when Mom’s gone things can get out of hand–”

Rick lost focus of what Jake was saying, when a shadow passed over the window. His heart rolled in his chest. Was he going crazy or what? A little monkey hand flopped against the window. No one heard it and the rumble of Jake’s voice still filled Rick’s head, even though he couldn’t make out the words. Then the monkey hand was pulling the window up.

Rick tried to speak up, slowly raising his hand. “Not now Rick,” Jake said. “Just let me finish my point.”

Rick wanted so bad to speak, but then another monkey paw was up on the sill and then Sun’s smiling face stared into the room. Rick wanted to scream out, warn them all about Sun’s presence, but then he disappeared, leaving an open window. No one else had noticed him.

“Now guys,” Jake said, “I think we can have a great day as long as you all give me the respect I deserve–” With the last word a half eaten banana exploded on the side of Jake’s face. “Mesa!” Jake yelled.

“I didn’t do it,” Mesa yelled back, before a soggy biscuit blasted him in the nose.

Mesa without another word picked up his whole plate and whipped it hard at Jake’s head. Jakes was just able to duck and the full plate of food went smashing into the wall. It’s contents rained down on everybody. The room exploded into chaos and screams. Brown gravy and eggs flew through the air, while smiling little faces darted for cover.

Rick kept his eyes on the window, but there was no sign of Sun. A handful of eggs hit him in the face and his vision blurred. He dropped to the ground and began to crawl his way across the floor. Mesa’s leg came out of nowhere and whacked him in the side. Rick rolled with the impact and kept crawling towards the door out of the house.

Rick rubbed the slime from his eye and watched as Mesa held Jake in a headlock and ordered him to “calm down.” Toro and twins came crashing into the two older boys and then all of them collapsed into a rolling mess on the floor.

Marilyn, now standing on a chair above the fray took a glass of water and poured it on the group. “Stop you animals,” she screamed. “Ma’s going to kill you!”

Rick snuck out the side door and erupted in laughter. Sun watched it all from a tree, cackling himself.

“Look at em go boy!” Sun yelled.

Danus came bursting out of the house, a mess of eggs chasing him out. Rick ran down the stairs, scared for his new friend.

Danus saw the monkey right away and marched right past him and over to the tree. “Oh my god Rick, did this monkey start all that? I thought the banana came from Toro, but I wasn’t sure.”

Sun checked Danus for second and then looked right at Rick. It was the weirdest thing, but Sun’s whole face seemed to taunt Rick, as if it said, “Should I talk to him? Should I? Should I?” Rick tried to counter plead with his own face, begging Sun to keep quiet and go away.

Sun smiled at him for a moment, then let out a robust screech of laughter and yelled, “try to keep up egg heads!” Then he darted down the tree and into the bush. Both boys took off after the Monkey without another word.

Little Moses stumbled out the side door next, wiping the eggs from his glasses. A small tear ran down his cheek. He was just able to see Danus‘ back as he disappeared into the jungle. With a complete refusal to reenter Ma’s dining room, Moses followed after the other two boys…

Until next time ponder these questions…

Where and why is Sun leading them into the jungle? What happened after Eve named the Monkey? Will order ever be restored to Ma’s house? What will she say when she discover the mess? Will Mesa and Toro escape into the night? Will Jake ever recover his position? Stay tuned for the next link in the chain!

29 thoughts on “The Tiny Soldier-Part 5 (Flash Fiction Chain 5)

  1. There is so much of details, a perfect picture of the house and the environment out there. You gave us a very vivid picture. And I liked the way you pointed out next few threads 🙂 Cheers mate

  2. Loved the whole atmosphere you created…so vivid..although the list of names is a bit daunting ,considering that I am expected to conclude 😛 But very well conceptualized and written 🙂

    1. Thanks for reading and encouragement,Yeah I knew all the names would be a bit hard to handle, but I tried to sort of group them, and as always if they fall back into the foreground that is okay too, at lead we have a little flavor there, and maybe a couple subplot to pull though. But yes, writing the final link on something like this would be challenge for sure, especially with all these great artists reading along; but you’ll do great! Hope you have fun.

  3. Absolutely love it, Austin! I enjoyed each and every moment of the action packed drama of 12 boys in disagreement! You have introduced all of the children and fleshed them out so well. Such beautiful names. You have introduced so many new subplots that could be developed further. Vivid storytelling and amazing detail!

    1. Thank you so much! Really appreciate the compliments and encouragement. Yeah the super informed reader might be able to tease out some significance out of the names too, that actually took bit of research. I felt like there was a lot of celestial, solar conversation, taking place anyway, so I went with it, each child is loosely affiliated with a different zodiac. I love working with and thinking through archetypes, so that’s what I was sort of doing here. Anyways, glad u enjoyed it! I can’t wait for the rest of the story.

  4. I stumbled on this by accident with no time to read but this idea really intrigues me, so I will be back and read the story from start to finish. This idea of people writing in sections to tell the story reminds me of something I did years ago and it was a story told aloud by a group of people in a circle, each person taking turns. It was so fun to see how the story developed. So – I’ll see ya later!

    1. Yeah this Chain Fiction stuff is just awesome and Jithin who is running this particular chain is just awesome too. The chain fictions makes writing a conversation as opposed to just one person (Author) holding the privilege position of speaking. It seems to dissuade apathetic readers, because everyone gets a voice in the creative process. It is basically like a jam session for writers; I love it!

      You should hop in on the next round!

  5. The house is so full of action and my God what a food fight ! I loved each moment of it. I read it before and believe me second time reading is even more enjoyable as the tension of writing my part is over now 🙂

    1. Thank you so much for your kind comments. It’s a real joy being part of these chains and I’m excited to see them continue.

      All these different minds and perspectives working together are creating great stuff and that is something we can all take pride in and push ourselves as individuals too, I think anyway. Anyway, sorry to ramble. Thanks of your thoughts and contributions! Good luck.

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